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In Which We Marry Margaery Tyrell At Our Leisure
Sex in the Final Hour by DICK CHENEY I have been to a lot of weddings. When I think back on my favorite ones, I remember Jeb Bush tonguing Eliot Weinberger's balls after a chorus of "Feliz Navidad"...
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In Which The Presence Of Ultron Is Duly Requested
You're the Woman by ALEX CARNEVALE The Avengers: Age of Ultron dir. Joss Whedon 141 minutes Chris Evans' upper body looks like the crest of some unearthly plateau. He has no love interest in The...
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In Which This Is The Only Way We Feel We Can Respond
Hard to Say is This Recording’s weekly advice column. It will appear every Wednesday until the Earth perishes in a fiery blaze, or until North West turns 40. Get no-nonsense answers to all of your...
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In Which We Steal Through the Blinds Of A Stranger
Ben's Death by MAUREEN O'BRIEN Midwest summers in my grandparents house were hot and leaden with the smell of perfumed soaps and car oil. It was summer when Mom told me of her younger brother Ben’s...
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In Which We Have Nothing To Give But Regrets
Seashells Owner of the Paris bookstore Shakespeare in Company, Sylvia Beach served, at different times, as James Joyce's agent, publisher and friend. He was very brusque with her, showing no special...
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In Which We Keep Missing Littlefinger For Some Reason
The One True King by DICK CHENEY I really feel for King Tommen. He's sitting in his breakfast nook, waiting to dig into an adorable plate of corn and eggs, when his wife comes in to complain about her...
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In Which We Keep The Remnants Of Fate For Ourselves
Torture by DAN CARVILLE Here are the things we wanted to take with us: - old drawings of cars if they were people - photocopies of our hands on top of our hands - the pluperfect, the pluperfect - the...
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In Which We Like All The Things That You Like
Hard to Say is This Recording’s weekly advice column. It will appear every Wednesday until the Earth perishes in a fiery blaze, or until North West turns 40. Get no-nonsense answers to all of your...
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In Which The Passion Of Anna Infects Our Various Cells
Invisible Ink by ALEX CARNEVALE The difference between a dated film and a timeless one is measured by the lengths of the skirts. Irish hermits colonized Faro Island, halfway between modern day Norway...
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In Which We Used To Admire These Individuals
Green Love by SUMEJA TULIC My first memory is very dull and searing: a huge sun squeezing out air, mirages coming out of the pavement and me jumping from one bare foot to the other. My life began...
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In Which We Hesitate To Move Against The Lord Commander
Dear Sam by DICK CHENEY Samwell Tarly gets letters. hey Sam, I heard you haven't made a move with Gilly yet. You should probably tell her that she excels at lots of things, like washing floors and...
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In Which We Surface For Air In The Near Future
Senor by HECTOR LEGRANDE Night comes early here, so quickly that everyone I know gets up with the sun, except for her. The restaurant serves any kind of seafood the fishermen bring in. The owner is...
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In Which We Hate None Of The Things That You Hate
Hard to Say is This Recording’s weekly advice column. It will appear every Wednesday until the Earth perishes in a fiery blaze, or until North West turns 40. Get no-nonsense answers to all of your...
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In Which Carey Mulligan As A Brunette Interests Several Parties
Not A Word Of This To Anyone by ALEX CARNEVALE Far From The Madding Crowd dir. Thomas Vinterburg 119 minutes Carey Mulligan's hair resembles the flailing forelock of a horse. She rides one lying on...
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In Which The Memory Of Jane Fonda Remains With Us Still
Puns About Age Disgust Me by DICK CHENEY Grace and Frankie creators Marta Kauffman & Howard J. Morris You know who should play an innocent grandmother who can barely do anything for herself now...
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In Which We Do Not Envy Anyone Except Bronn
Rompers by DICK CHENEY It is not easy being a blogger, but it is a lot better than being Sansa Stark. Before I recapped Game of Thrones to while away the remaining years of my retirement, I worked in...
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In Which We Capture And Imprison Joan Of Arc
The Good by ALEX CARNEVALE The Arnolfini Double Portrait is the most mysterious painting in modern art. Jan van Eyck's oil canvas ostensibly concerned a couple trying to get pregnant. A convex mirror...
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In Which We Cannot Keep You Off Of Our Feet
Hard to Say is This Recording’s weekly advice column. It will appear every Wednesday until the Earth perishes in a fiery blaze, or until North West turns 40. Get no-nonsense answers to all of your...
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In Which Matt Dillon Was More Of A Figure Of Speech
Come Back To Us by DICK CHENEY Wayward Pines creator Chad Hodge When he breathes out, Matt Dillon's face resembles a puffy blowfish. Matt should have been on Lost. As Secret Service agent Ethan Burke,...
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In Which We Attempt To Get To Higher Ground
Re: The Lists by KENZIE BRYANT These are things that happened: He went away and had an experience. Let’s call it a big experience. So when he came home, he packed and left again. This is how he...
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