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In Which Have We Got A Plan For You
What You Need To Do by ALMIE ROSE Welcome to another edition of what you need to do, where we seek advice in the silver screen. Last time we looked at Jonathan Lynn's Clue. Today, let's look to Ed...
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In Which We Earn The Right To Hurt Someone Else
In Love With by LUCY MORRIS Dear C, I am back in New York but without a bed. I sleep on the couch but I do have a cabinet that holds some clothes and offers a surface on which to stack the books I...
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In Which We Harken Back To Our First Warm Breath
Home Depot Oscillating Fan by MARK BAUMER The day before I moved to New York to become a mutual fund portfolio manager, I saw a guy at McDonalds holding a medium-sized, oscillating fan that he bought...
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In Which We Secretly Harbor The Desire To Be Looked At
Escape to New York by ELIZABETH GUMPORT Just as our first romantic relationships impress types upon us, so, too, do our early urban experiences determine if and how we will live in cities. There are...
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In Which We Read To Live And Vice Versa
Summer Reading by KARA VANDERBIJL It seems unnatural to read in the summer, when the only thing keeping us inside is the occasional electric storm. That is why it is of utmost importance that we find...
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In Which We Decide To Forgo The Trombone
And Then God Created the South by ALEXIS OKEOWO I’m far from an authentic Alabamian. I don’t have a Southern accent; I can’t make enormous meals of pulled pork and barbecue, nor deep-fry anything, nor...
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In Which We End The Cosmic Friendship
photo by Amanda McCleod I Took From Her The Love I Want And Turned It To The Sky by EMMA KEMPSELL She was something that I clung to because she had been there for a long time. Even when she wasn’t and...
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In Which We're Really Down On Optimus Prime
Falling From A Great Height by ALEX CARNEVALE Transformers: Dark of the Moon dir. Michael Bay 684 minutes Are you constitutionally unable to tell Josh Duhamel and Johnny Knoxville apart? If Chris...
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In Which We Experience The Subtle Ferocity Of Cy Twombly
photo by Mario Dondero, Rome. 1962 The Rush by AMANDA MCCLEOD Cy Twombly was born Edwin Parker Twombly Jr. in Lexington, Virginia on April 28th, 1928. The nickname Cy was passed along to him by his...
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In Which We Start Again As Beginners
Sadder Than What Came Before by TRACY WAN Beginners dir. Mike Mills 105 minutes Much like describing the liquid in a glass, a decisive moment in life is either an ending or a beginning, depending on...
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In Which Mentally I Was No More Than A Slave
Before Midnight Dearest: I am always grateful to all the loyalties you gave me, and I am always loyal to the concepts that held us together so long: the belief that life is tragic, that man's...
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In Which We Unveil The 25 Best Singles Of 2011
The 25 Best Singles of 2011 (So Far) by DANISH AZIZ The 2011 musical harvest has been bountiful, so much so that I had to whittle this list down to 25 choices from my original list of over 100 songs....
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In Which We Get Fit Or Get Out
Better Living by MOLLY O'BRIEN Shaun T is 5’ 11’’ and 175 pounds, with kind eyes and a abdomen so muscled it appears segmented by the same factory machine that stamps Hershey’s Milk Chocolate into...
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In Which We Say Goodbye To Gryffindor
Multiple Personalities by KARA VANDERBIJL Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 2 dir. David Yates 130 min Voldemort dies. Through a slightly confusing turn of events, Harry sacrifices the part...
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In Which Grace Kelly Makes The Rules Around Here
Amazing Grace by ALMIE ROSE I just found out that Grace Kelly was a slut and this has to mean something. Maybe I should clarify (or not, it’s Manhattan, who gives a fuck): I had heard the old...
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In Which We Taste The Blood Of The Dragon
Queen's Walk by DICK CHENEY A Dance With Dragons by George R.R. Martin 1040 pp A light wind was riffling the waters of the pool below, all around the naked swordsman. It reminded him of how Tysha...
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In Which Norman Mailer Ruins Marilyn Monroe For The Rest Of Us
North Korea, South Korea by ALEX CARNEVALE When Norman Mailer wrote his 1973 biography of Marilyn Monroe, entitled Marilyn, he called himself a psychohistorian. It was his sworn duty to interpret the...
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In Which The License Plate Said Fresh And It Had Dice In The Mirror
Born and Raised by DAYNA EVANS My first real American Halloween, my brother and I dressed up as Will Smith and Tommy Lee Jones from Men In Black. You can see the problem with this already. I insisted...
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In Which Our Clothes Pop Off When We Double In Size
Born Free by LAUREN BANS Captain America: The First Avenger dir. Joe Johnston 125 minutes Chris Evans is extremely attractive. Not in a sexual way, but in a glossy I wonder if I threw chewing gum at...
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In Which We Spend The Summer With Her
Blemishes by DURGA CHEW-BOSE My summer began with a bang. A bullet, which I later collected for the police — six miniature pieces of delicately warped copper metal — smashed my second floor bedroom...
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